Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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