69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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