Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
