If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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