Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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