just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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