It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
