Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
