I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How's work?
Spinning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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