goodnight i made you a song goodbye
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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