used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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