Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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