Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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