At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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