So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
