The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
