I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
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I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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