4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
