i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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