weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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