Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
