Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize