i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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