She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It was confusing and full of hummus
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
