I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
