i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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