goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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