So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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