I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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