Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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