Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You work out of a Hotel?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
