At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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