All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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