I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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