i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize