When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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