"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
