I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize