She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you had me at cake vodka
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
