I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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