she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This baby is an asshole
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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