goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
