To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
