Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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