I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize