your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
