best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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