He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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