If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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