what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
