today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
