at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
