Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
