i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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