can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
